


Inadvisable Wand Play

by Acatnamedeaster



Series: Short n' Smutty [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Play, Explicit Sexual Content, Fan Comics, Fisting, M/M, Nudity, Sketches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:16:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acatnamedeaster/pseuds/Acatnamedeaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A heartwarming Christmas tale about a boy's first time getting fisted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I realize how improbable this would be, but it's maaaagic.

"You need to go to the hospital."

"For the final time I am NOT going to the bloody hospital, now will you just shut up and get it out!"

"You keep yelling at me you can dig your wand out of your arse all by yourself. After all, I wasn't the one who put it there. And stop getting angry, it makes you clench."

"Fine...I-I'm sorry, now can you please just get it out, it's really getting rather uncomfortable."

"All right, lets have a look then.*whistles* Wow, you've really stuffed it up there, haven't you? I can barely see it even with the torch. For fuck's sake, Severus, don't you remember that lecture we got in school about not shoving our wands up there? This is precisely the reason."

"Merlin help me, will you just shut our gob and get on it with it already! This is humiliating enough I don't need you of all people giving me a lesson on sexual hygiene!"

"Apparently you do seeing as I'm using a torch to search for a wand in your arsehole."

"Oh God..."

*sigh* "This isn't going to work. Hmmm, maybe... Umm, Severus? Do you know what fisting is?"

"W-what?"

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Do it if it'll get this wand out!"

"Are-are you sure? I mean, maybe we should just go to the hospital and..."

"No! N-no. Just-just do it, all right? Please. I-I can't go to the hospital just...lets take care of it here, all right?"

*sigh* "Very well. But I still think you should go see a healer. Okay, ummm, here, lift up, let's put another pillow under you. There, that's better. Are you comfortable?"

"I'm lying here with a wand stuck up my arse, of course I'm not comfortable you twit!!!"

*chuckle* "Point taken, sorry I asked."

 


	3. Chapter 3




	4. Chapter 4




	5. Chapter 5




	6. Chapter 6




	7. Chapter 7

"Come off it, after what I had to do to you it's a bit late to be embarrassed in front of me, don't you think?"

"Hmph."

"Oh please, you're going to put those to good use and you know it. Don't pretend to be offended, I know better you pervy little git. I expect you'll be at it first opportunity"

"Actually, I was thinking if we don't have anything to do for a couple of hours..."

"We don't, I don't have to be at Harry's place until 5:30. Speaking of which, can you come with me this time? It is Christmas after all."

"....."

"Please Severus, don't make me go stag again. Everyone's going to start thinking our marriage is a figment of my imagination. Please..."

"Very well, but we're not staying long."

"Just supper and then we go, all right?"

"All right."

"We'll just stay for coffee, maybe some pie and then we're out."

"Sirius...."

"Just a card game or two and we're history..."

"I'm already regretting saying yes to this."

"Come on! Pie and the chance to utterly destroy Harry at cards? I would think you would jump at the opportunity."

"The things I do for you, I hope you realize how lucky you are."

"Oh yes, I'm well aware of what a tremendous personal sacrifice this is for you love and if you could refrain from scowling all evening I would be eternally grateful. Oh and would you mind wearing the robes you got this morning? I'd really like to see you in them."

*chuckle* "I'll wear the robes if you'll wear that thing with the fuzzy tail on on the end of it for me. Very fitting for you, considering all those rabbits you've chased."

"I am NOT wearing a bum plug to my godson's house you cretin."

"No you imbecile, I meant now."

"I see. Eager to play with your new toys little boy?"

"Indeed and in the spirit of the day I'd like to umm, share them."

"Well, who am I to refuse such a generous offer?"

"Come, lets go work up an appetite for breakfast."

"Oh right, It's only 6 am, didn't realize you had gotten me up so early." *shakes head* "You really are like a little boy sometimes. A very naughty little boy...lucky me."

 


End file.
